The other day, a friend and I were watching Maury, a daytime tabloid talk show series hosted by Maury Povich that aires on local TV stations. Much like Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos, the show addresses many controversial situations including sexual infidelity, “out of control” teens, domestic violence, and odd phobias just to name a few. The show also offers free paternity (DNA) tests and polygraph (lie detector) tests, both of which it is most well-known for. I would say that the bulk of the episodes of Maury nowadays revolve around infidelity and paternity tests.
As my friend and I were tuning into this show, one thing we observed from many of the show’s guests is a high level of irresponsibility. Your average episode of Maury goes as follows:
Sarah: “Maury I am 1,010% sure that John is the father of my child!”
John: “Man that ain’t my baby, I wrapped it up! Sarah is a hoe, she’s slept with every man in town!”
Maury: “In the case of baby Emily, John you are NOT the father!”
Sarah: *runs to the back stage* “Oh Lawd noooo!!!!!”
John: *break dances across stage*
Sarah: “Maury John IS the father of my child. We’ve been together for 3 yrs and I haven’t had sex with anyone else but him.”
John: “Sarah is a lying, cheating whore! That baby looks nothing like me! That baby’s head has the slope of y=mx+b, MY head is a quadratic formula!!!”
Maury: “The results are in! Sarah, you were asked if you have ever cheated on John. You said no, the lie detector determined you were telling the truth! Now let’s look at the paternity test. John, in the case of 3 month old Emily, you ARE the father!!!”
John: “Oh baby I’m so sorry!!!!”
We hear about Scenario 2 very often so I won’t get into that one too much, let’s examine Scenario 1. One thing I can’t stand about shows like this, and society in general, is how they always put emphasis on the man not taking accountability but the truth is a lot of these women aren’t taking accountability for their actions either. This of course isn’t the case for Scenario 2 but in Scenario 1 both the man (or men) and the woman are highly irresponsible. In an episode like Scenario 1, the crowd always boos the man for denying being the father of the baby but nobody ever boos the woman for having unprotected sex with multiple different men. In a situation such as this, can we really get angry at the man for being skeptical? I just feel like a lot of the women in these situations are not taking accountability for their actions or being 100% honest with themselves. Instead of just admitting their mistakes, they come across as self-righteous and out of guilt they pin their children on the first man they see fit. If you have to test multiple men to figure which is the father of your child, that says a lot about the type of person you are. I am not in any way making an excuse for these men because they’re in the wrong too. It takes two to tango and it’s not like anyone is holding these men at gunpoint forcing them to sleep with promiscuous women without a condom. I also don’t like how some of the men make the situation worse by being vulgar towards the woman and saying mean, nasty things about the child. These men aren’t being 100% honest with themselves either because an honest, mature man would take accountability for the fact that he did sleep with this woman unprotected and that it is a possibility that he is the father.
The message that I hope to get through to people is to take accountability for their actions and to be honest with themselves. We cannot keep placing the blame on others for our misfortunes. I don’t mean to be condescending, I’m not perfect. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of playing the blame game. It’s definitely something I’m working on so that I can continue to elevate spiritually. Instead of putting an emphasis on what he, she, they, etc. did, try thinking in terms of “What did I do and what could I have done to make the situation better?” I hope you get something valuable from reading this post. I also really hope I don’t offend anyone, believe me it’s all out of love.
~Peace & Blessings,